one year.
in two days it will be one year.
one year ago i made the biggest mistake of my life. i took you for granted and i had second thoughts about what we had; the feelings, the laughs, the smiles. if i could go back 365 days, i would tell myself to resist the temptation. resist it with all of my heart. because one day, you will be worth so much more to me than the title “boyfriend”. you will be my first love. my best friend. my first heartbreak. and the one person who is constantly running through my mind. we make mistakes, we’re human. but this one was one that i will never forgive myself for. every day i think “what if”. If i had just one more chance to feel your kiss. to hear you say i love you. to have your arms wrapped around me so tight that i felt safe and wonderful. nostalgia hits me everyday. smells, sounds, pictures, everything. to think i had you so close to me, what happened?
i hate admitting this to myself, but i love you. i have loved you for so long and now it hurts me to say and realize that you dont love me back. maybe it’s time to actually let go. the spark of hope inside me is slowly dimming down to nothing. nothing. which is what we will have from now on. nothing.